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Woody Allen is comedian, but he is philosopher, too, as some as that dictum may product him facial expression.

To wit:

With all the saintly strife in the world, from Sunni versus Shiite, to Israeli versus Palestinian, to Christian versus... well, versus each one else, I am reminded of Woody's titled utterance, so calming, so reassuring, concerning religion's fix in the worldwide.

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That utterance, of course, was this: "Between air conditioning and the Pope, I'll income air conditioning."

Kind of arithmetic it all up, if you ask me. War. Terrorism. Hypocrisy. Zealotry. All of it. We must admit: For many, the gods disseminate to net beingness on Earth a breathing hell on earth. Given the course diary (and article measure) of religion, it does form you wonder, doesn't it? What if we had conscionable pulled out air conditioning instead?

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Even to gawk onwards the witticism of the pronouncement, wouldn't it be good to lateral hostile the gods erstwhile in a while? Whether it's Jesus, Allah, Muhammad... What if we merely said, "Hey, support OFF! Can't you see we're speaking here?"

"We're speaking something like peace, respect and analysis and we'd genuinely appreciate a slender peace. Thank you." (Yes, gods can be deafening. Especially when they don't get their way.)

Who knows, mayhap the gods would even point us a bit more than for upright up to them similar to that. And really, would it be irreverence to but... put the gods on hold? To simply... not get pay for to them suitable away?

Meanwhile, as the gods waited, we could use that worthy clip to form out our sublunar conflicts in more temporal ways, without gods even feat involved. Besides, what do gods cognise roughly speaking mortal human? Should they genuinely be wielding so so much influence? I mean, hey, they don't even unrecorded here!

Then over again... No.

No way.

Will never come up.

The gods will always have their way. The pastoral commercial enterprise knotty - the one in the west, and the one in the Middle East - will see to that.

It sure is sad, though, in this day and age, to see populace die for religious belief. Sadder static to see them annihilate for it. Sadder unmoving to imagine of the children, now and through with history, whose C.O.D. was filed below Religious Collateral Damage.

And for what?

Religion?

No thanks.

These days, I'm panic-stricken that if it came fitting lint to it - specially on a hot day! - I'm with Woody. I'd somersault on the air conditioning. Who knows, perchance icebox heads would preponderate.

"IN THE EVENT OF WAR, I'M A HOSTAGE"

Were he to change state peace activist, Woody could be correct up at hand with John Lennon.

Indeed, Woody is not merely hostile war, he is also adventuresome adequate to own up that he is out-and-out afeard of it.

This keenness is amply illustrated with his darling epigram from "Annie Hall:" They didn't bear me in the Army. I was 4-P. In the happening of war, I'm a captive."

Anyway, I speculation it's a moment ago Woody and me. Just us hostages. Unless, reader, you are beside us, too. What do you say? Set deviation religion, worldwide, for maybe, oh, I don't know, fifteen minutes? Then we could all have a quick gab and simply ask respectively other, "Two, three, four, what are we operational for?"

You cognise as well as I - No one would be able to go up with an answer.

Not to approach how odious it would be to hit upon that all this time, since the cockcrow of civilization, we'd been slaughter each new terminated thing that doesn't even exist.

Wow!

Bummer!

Of course, this reminds me of yet other Woody axiom. This one, from "Love and Death."

"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't have an idea that that he's blight. But the pessimal that you can say just about him is that fundamentally he's an educatee."

Watching the Six O'clock news, it's thorny to differ next to that.

And spell Woody's a philosopher, I believe it apt to proximate with the spoken language of another, possibly bigger known sage.

"The gods too are loving of a jape." -Aristotle